I live in British Columbia with my husband, Mark Vejvoda and our 6 children- that is right, our SIX children, Jacob, Noah, Isaac, Timothy, Hannah, and Esther. I am quite happy…but it hasn’t always been so.
My biological father left when I was around 2. My Mother remarried when I was in grade 2… lets just say we were a very dysfunctional family! I will spare you the details. I always felt insecure and an empty void! Yes, I was quite the loudy and rowdy! But inside I was very lonely and insecure. I thought that having a man love me and marry me would cure the empty feeling. I looked for love in all the wrong places and acted very unlady like in the process! I did drugs, smoked and drank but didn’t find lasting satisfaction with that lifestyle. I quit smoking when I was 18 because I didn’t have any money for cigarettes. I quit drugs around the same time because I had a terrible experience on acid and just knew that if I touched the stuff again I’d die! If I would have I don’t know..I never touched the stuff again! Drinking was a little more difficult to stop. Oh, I made a fool of myself many a time while drinking. I was an alcoholic. I had NO control of myself when drinking.
My worst experience drinking was on my 18th birthday, some of you may remember. I was given a mickey of Vodka for my birthday and I took several different kinds of over the counter drugs with it- all the ones where the label said not to take with alcohol-what an idiot! I could have killed myself. Thankfully I didn’t! I went to school and made a BIG fool of myself. To this day I blush in shame when I remember the way I acted. That is the one time I wish I did black out all memories! I survived after being suspended from school and losing some friends. My rock bottom was getting drunk at a friends wedding. I was dating a really nice guy, a real gentleman. Anyway, once again I got totally drunk, I actually stooped so low as to drink the wine that was left in the glasses on the table from others….YUCK!!! I was getting a little too friendly with someone other than my boyfriend. Naturally, what guy would stand for this treatment. He left angrily! The relationship was over in his eyes. But like I said, he was a gentleman. He knew I was drunk and was going to get myself into trouble. So he humbled himself and came back and said that he was going to take me home. He brought me there and it was his responsibility to take me home. I grudgingly went with him. I must have done some pretty sweet talking because he did end up staying with me (in fact, he married me 14 years ago and we are still happily married!). However, I knew that if I wanted to keep this relationship I had to stop drinking…and so I did. However, the empty void remained. I thought that it would end once someone truly loved me-but It didn’t. I then thought that I would feel complete if I got pregnant and would have my own baby to love. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so very joyful but didn’t feel complete. Here I was engaged to be married to a great guy, pregnant with a beautiful baby and yet I still felt empty. What was missing?
A relationship with God was missing. You heard right. I always believed in God. I was brought up to believe in God and see His handiwork all around me, I also witnessed much hypocrisy and the truth was distorted in many ways! However, God was calling me. Like I said, I always believed in God but the Bible says that even Satan and his demons believe and tremble and they are hell bound! Believing wasn’t enough. Was there more? After watching a Billy Graham movie I came to understand that it is more than believing. It is 1. knowing that I am a sinner and that all sin is to be punished! 2. repenting of my sin- being truly sorry and turning away (stopping) my sinful ways. 3. Believing that Jesus died on the cross for me, for my sins. He died that I might live! 4. surrendering my life to Jesus. No more living for myself, but living for Him! He lived and died for me now I will live and die for Him. It’s having a personal relationship with Jesus by praying and reading my Bible! Oh the joy! Oh, the peace! The Void is filled! Whenever, the void returns, I realize I am neglecting my relationship with the Lord. I challenge you, plead with you! Find out for yourself is this true. Do you feel that void that I mentioned? Is there something missing in your life?
If you are serious, pray for God to make Himself known to you. Open the Bible and read for yourself. I suggest you start in the book Of John. If you seek you will find! The Lord has made Himself so real in our lives. Let me share one story with you. A few years ago my husband, Mark, was going to cut down a huge birch tree that was leaning toward my garden. It was not going to be an easy task. He had to chain saw it almost all the way through than drive our car that had a chain attached to the tree so that the tree would fall the way he wanted. The tree was probably 40ft or higher. Anyway, we all stood in front of the house before he was to cut it. We all had directions of where we should be while he cut it. Mark then prayed for the tree to fall in the correct place, for our van and shed to be kept safe and he was about to end his prayer but felt that he should pray for the protection of our family. ‘That is a given’ he thought, yet he still had the impression to pray for our protection, so he did pray for our protection. Just as he was about to start pulling the tree with the car some friends showed up. They stopped for about 15 minutes. We had a great visit. Once they were gone. Mark got back to the business of pulling the tree. The rest of us forgot all about it. We went about our fun. Mark got into the car and started pulling the tree and just as he heard the crackling of the tree. He looked in his rear view mirror to see where the tree was going to fall and there stood our precious two year old daughter! In the exact place where the tree was going to fall. She wanted to be with her Daddy. Mark yelled,” Go back Hannah! Go to he House! Vickie!!! Come and get Hannah!” But it was too late. With my heart pounding I ran as fast as I could. Hannah was confused and just stood there as the tree came falling down right toward her. Mark could do nothing but watch. The tree came crashing down toward her and about one meter above her head the tree splintered and broke up all around her. It looked as if the tree hit something just above her head and there was a protective dome around her. Not one piece hit her. It was a miracle! Mark had the strongest impression that if he had not prayed, our daughter would have been badly harmed. Or possibly killed. I just thank God. The Lord has protected and showed Himself to us in many other ways. In life there is a gravity effect, but with God and prayer the gravity effect doesn’t have to happen. How I praise His Holy name! In fact, the gravity effect for all of us is hell. But none of us have to go there!
In closing I would like to share some scriptures from the Bible.
-In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1
-The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands
-You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! James 2:19
-And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: Hebrews 9:27
-For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23
-For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23
-And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 2:8
-Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
-Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3
– If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
-Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.. James 2:17
– Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked. 1 John 3-6
I pray that each one of you reading this will make a decision to follow Jesus! You won’t be sorry. I love you all and will be praying for you!
If you are interested in finding out more about the Lord, the Bible, and His ways but don’t know where to start. I highly recommend you listen to Zac Poonen’s free Basic Christian teachings at:
There are 72 messages of 15 min each starting from ground-zero. This series of audio messages by Zac Poonen is on foundational Christian truths. If you listen the these, you will be blessed.
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